


Primitive

by ProphecyGirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Challenge Response, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProphecyGirl/pseuds/ProphecyGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy and Faith find out what a Slayer really is. Written for the CaveSlayers challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Primitive

Cave Slayers Challenge: First Place

Challenge: fire, shelter, minor injury, girl scouts, food, wool blanket  
Notes: This story begins canonically, except that Faith came to Sunnydale a bit earlier.

 

First, there was the EARTH.  
Then came the DEMONS.  
After demons came MEN.  
The men found a GIRL to slay DEMONS.  
They chained her to the earth.  
Filled her with DARK.

Faith hung back as the others dug greedily through the Slayer "emergency kit". Unless there was some kind of bad ass weapon in there that could destroy an incorporeal evil being, she wasn't interested. Fairy tales and shadow puppets--could you get more useless in a time like this? She slowly inched towards the door, hoping to sneak a cigarette on the porch before anyone realized she was missing. Her hand was on the doorknob when Xander called her name.

"Yeah?" They were all looking at her pointedly, and she flushed, a little embarassed that she had no idea what they wanted from her.

"Matches," Dawn piped up helpfully. "Or anything flamey, really. For the shadow casters."

Faith sighed, giving up the idea of escape and coming back into the livingroom. She tossed a pack of matches to Dawn, and Xander's face fell a bit, which almost made her feel bad. Almost.

Dawn passed the pack to Xander and hit the lights, and he carefully lit the wick in the center. The flames licked the air, sparking and popping as the fire burned through thirty years worth of dust coating the wick. It was strangely entrancing, and Faith sat on the arm of the couch, her interest piqued just a bit.

"First.. there was the earth," Dawn read. Was that seriously Sumerian? Baby girl grew up a *lot* in just a few years. Xander carefully fitted the first piece onto the caster. The whole thing was wrought iron and incredibly creepy. Like a lazy susan of doom.

Dawn continued reading, stuttering here and there, and Xander continued filling the caster as tribal drums beat loudly in the background. It didn't bother Faith until the wind kicked up, and she pulled her denim jacket--thoughtfully provided by Fred after she'd played Prison Break with Wes in LA--tighter around her. Wind and creepy drums, she could cope with. Buffy looked nervous, though. She took a little pride in the fact that she was handling the oddness better than Miss Slayer-of-the-year over there. At least, she was until the caster spun so fast that some sort of blue flickering light emerged from it and grew. And grew.

"Is that a--" but her voice was too low, and was drowned out by the others trying to convince Buffy not to jump into it.

..jump into it? You'd have to be completely batshit insane to jump into that thing. Who knew where it led? Or what it was? Maybe it was an illusion, maybe it was a black hole. Maybe it led to the Salem Witch Trials and they'd both be burned at the stake.. that'd be ironic as hell. Or--and Faith perked up at the thought--maybe it was a portal to the '60s and she could hop in there and score some amazing weed and chill out with Janis Joplin.

During the time she'd decided to poke her head in and see where she came out, Buffy had apparently decided that head-first was the best approach, and reared back to dive in. What an idiot.

"Aw, fuck." Faith had the presence of mind to grab her matches off the table as she ran by, stuffing them in her pocket and grabbing hold of Buffy's booted ankle as she dove in behind her.

The portal closed, and the others stood around in shock.

"Well. I guess we were wrong. Buffy diving in wasn't a horrible idea. Faith diving in after her, leaving us without any Slayers at all.. That was a horrible idea." Slowly, everyone's eyes turned towards Anya, who looked back innocently. "What?"

 

 

Roll into it, roll into it, I coach myself. Roll into it, and you'll be fine. I let out a loud grunt as I belly flop to the ground, forgetting what I'd just told myself. Everything goes white for a minute and I don't even bother trying to breathe. Then slowly, things began to come into focus. Light, a few bare trees, and sand. Lots of sand. Sand in my mouth. I spit a few times, rolling onto my back and taking a deep breath.

Buffy leans over me menacingly, her brow doing that furrowed, pissed-off thing it does. "You're an idiot."

I close my eyes again, hoping I can make her disappear, but when I open them, she's still there looking all stern and righteous. "Coulda said the same about you." Did, in fact. I just had the tact to not say it out loud. Until now, anyway.

She leans closer, and I could totally see down her shirt if she wasn't wearing that god-awful ugly-ass turtleneck. "What happened?"

I groan. "Shoulda rolled into it."

Is that a smirk? She reaches down and I take her hand, letting her help me up. "For a Slayer, you really lack grace."

I shrug. "Grace isn't part of the package, as I understand it. Strength, the ability to sense vamps, and a crappy retirement plan. That's the Slayer deal. Nowhere in the handbook was I promised grace."

She gets a funny look on her face. "You got the handbook?" I pause, looking back at her confusedly. She shakes her head. "Never mind. Where are we?"

I look around. Yep, just as I thought. Desert. In the middle of nowhere. Adjacent to nothing and just slightly south of Fuckedville. "Definitely not Woodstock," I mumble, only to get another funny look from her.

She sits on a nearby rock, sighing heavily. "I really gotta stop jumping into big swirly lights. Never ends well." My turn for a funny look. She glances up and shrugs. "You don't wanna know."

"You're probably right about that." Too far. She looks pissed off again. "I just meant--"

"Forget it." She waves her hand. "It's fine. Let's just.. figure out where the hell we are."

"How?"

"I don't know," she snaps, "Look around, see if anything's familiar."

I sigh heavily, looking around. "Oh, sure. How did I miss that before?"

"What?" she whirls, trying to see where I'm looking.

"That big old sign over there that says 'If you lived here, you'd be home now.' The one above the one that says 'We're in the middle of the fucking desert and we're both gonna die because you're an idiot!'" I sink onto the ground, putting my hands over my face.

"Screw you," she whispers unconvincingly.

"You wish," I respond, probably just as unconvincingly.

We sit like that for awhile before she groans in frustration and stands, hiking her skirt up a little to keep it from dragging in the sand. I look up, waiting to see what she plans to do. Her brow furrows a little and she takes a step forward.

"I've been here before."

I suck air through my teeth. "What are you talking about?"

She gets a dazed look on her face. "In a dream. There was.." she points to a few scattered rocks. "There. Tara was there. She spoke for her.."

"For who?"

Her voice lowers to a whisper. "The first."

I stand up. "The First? The First is a her?"

"What?" she looks at me, confused. "No, the first.. of us."

"The first.. Slayer?" Wow. I never really thought about it. I guess the line had to start somewhere.

Buffy nods, biting her lip. "I've seen her twice. Senaya, is her name."

I swallow hard. "So.. should we look for her or something?"

At that moment, three men holding long staffs approach us, and instinctively we back up against each other, waiting for an attack, but they just stand in a semicircle, quietly staring at us. I tilt my head a little to whisper in her ear. "What's with the three wise men?"

"No clue," she responds, her back pressing against mine in a way that makes me feel suddenly warm. Great time to think with your libido, Faith. When you're about to get clubbed to death by Moses and his desert-wandering homeboys.

"So," she glances around at them, her voice raising a little as it does when she's nervous and trying not to show it. "Which one of you has the myrrh? Cause I always kinda wondered what that was."

They circle us slowly, thumping their sticks against the ground in a way that's at once entrancing and unnerving. They start speaking, in a language I can't even identify, and Buffy responds. And again, I feel like second string because I can't understand them and apparently she can.

Second string. The spare Slayer. Just an extra one, lying around in case the first one gets broken or lent out and not returned. Whatever.

That's my last thought before a staff is swung on me, and everything goes dark.

 

 

When I open my eyes, everything is blurry. As my vision starts clearing, I can see I'm in a cave of some kind, and my wrists are chained to the wall. I can feel an all-too-familiar wave of panic coming on. That trapped feeling, the overwhelming knowledge that I'm in a position I didn't put myself in. As the memory of that fear comes back, so does something else. A trick, something I did as a kid whenever I was afraid.

I clear my throat a little, and my voice is tinny, echoing through the cave as I start trying to work my hands free. "I am thinking it's a sign, that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images, and when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned.."

Something in the cave lets out a growl,  
and I shiver, pulling my wrists harder against the iron cuffs. I let out a soft grunt as they dig in, bruising the bone as I struggle, my voice lowering to a whisper. "But it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away when I am missing you to death.."

"Hebu! Nyamaza!" snaps a male voice, and I close my mouth quickly, shaken by the suddeness of it. "Mzuri sana. Tutaondoka na tutaruhusu wewe rudi kwako. Kwa bahati nzuri, gumu shujaa." One of the men from earlier moves into the light, bending forward on one knee, just slightly.

I press my back flat against the wall as he approaches me with his staff held like a broadsword. What a way to go. He couldn't have just eviscerated me in my sleep, like any respectable cave-dwelling evil.. thing? If you gotta go, go out with a bang, I always say. "As much as I'm enjoying this little safari to the Twilight Zone, I've got a blind date tonight. So if you could just go ahead and kill me now, I'd appreciate it."

"Uko mlezi. Unataka kuuawa?" His dark features curve up into a smile and I close my eyes, wishing the blow would just come. But when it does, it comes above my head and shatters the cuffs around my wrists, allowing me to drop to the ground.

I stare at his feet. "I'm not one for hero worship, but I'll just.. uh.. stay here. In case worshipping is the kinda thing that'll save my neck. And my other parts."

"Uko mlezi," he says again, before his sandled feet begin shuffling away. I stay like that for a long time, maybe an hour. They don't come back, and shaking, I climb to my feet.

I glance around the cave frustratedly, and let out a scream. "What the fuck was.. all of that? Where the fuck am I? What the fuck is happening?" I pause, listening to my echo for a moment. "..and where the FUCK are you when I need some help, B?"

I sink onto a rock and rub my bruised wrists hopelessly. I kind of want to cry, but.. hell. I'm sure I've been through worse than this and not gotten all weepy about it. I also kind of hope that they let Buffy go, too, and she's out there wandering around somewhere, just as lost as I am. Except maybe she'll have found water.

Something shuffles further into the cave, just out of my sight. I decide to make a hasty getaway, and start to stand, but the sound comes closer. A lot closer.

"I ain't 'fraid of no ghost.." I whisper.

There's just a little bit of light seeping from the entrance of the cave--a fact that makes me suddenly realize I've been in here all night--and it's just enough to see a small, pale figure moving towards me.

"Oh, fuck this shit." I'll deny it if I'm questioned later, but I turn and haul ass towards the exit, fast than I've ever moved in my life. I almost wet my pants when I hear the thing following me and gaining quickly. Oh god, I'm gonna die. Some staff-wielding cave-ghost is going to kill me. I'm going to die out here in the desert, alone. I'm going to die slowly, painfully.

The worst thing is, I'm going to die and no one's going to miss me.

The thing that's chasing me hits my back and I hit the ground, sliding through the dirt like the Sox's first home run of the season, with this thing on top of me. I close my eyes and my mouth, cursing myself for not rolling into it.. again. I could have used the thing's weight to my advantage and flipped it right off me. Instead, I stop just short of sliding head-first into a rock, and close my eyes again, waiting to be ripped into.

I feel the thing's fur.. fringe? Something soft, brushing against my neck as it.. sniffs me. It's sniffing me? Maybe it's like.. a cave dog. It climbs off me and I feel a very human hand on my back as it sniffs me again.

I gather up as much courage as I can and cautiously turn my head to see what it is.

There, crouching on the ground, naked (naked?) and covered in sand, is a very confused-looking Buffy.

"Oh, jesus christ. I thought you were a cave dog!" I start to roll over and she growls, stunning me into stillness again. "Uh.. B? What's.. what's with you?"

She points a finger at me accusingly and opens her mouth, letting out some kind of a grunt. I scoot back slowly to sit against a rock, and she lets me, but follows me with her eyes like she expects an attack of some kind.

"Buffy, what did they do to you?"

She shakes her head quickly and looks up at the sky, then takes off running in the opposite direction of the cave.

Well.. shit.


	2. Chapter 2

I take a moment to gather my bearings, and decide it's probably best if I don't lose track of her. I could just see me somehow getting back to Sunnydale and arriving without B. I've always wanted to attend a crucifixion, but I'd rather it wasn't my own.

I get up and quickly chase after her, hoping she doesn't go too far. I'm too tired to be chasing anybody, much less an angry naked Slayer. When I catch up, she's standing at the mouth of another cave, glaring into the setting sun. I'm going so fast that I have to skid to a stop, and I almost crash into her. She looks back down towards me and bares her teeth.

I pinch my arm. I didn't think I was dreaming, but this is just too surreal to be reality. She takes a step back from me, growling low in her throat.

"Hey.. it's cool," I put my hands in the air to show her I'm weaponless, and try to stand still when she approaches and inspects me closely. I keep my eyes open, swallowing hard. I'd thought about seeing B naked before, of course, but this isn't exactly the way I pictured it. "It's cool, Buffy. See? No weapons."

She seems to believe me and gives me a final once-over before shuffling towards the cave. She pauses briefly and glances back. "Okay, follow the leader it is." I slowly follow her inside, looking around.

"Well, isn't this cozy?" I mumble. It looks like a more accurate portrayal of the Flintstones in here. No Woolly Mammoth dishwasher, but there's stones piled into what resembles some sort of furniture, and a ring of smaller stones marking off a fire pit of some kind. There's some dried animal skins draped over a few jutting stalagmites on the floor.

Buffy approaches the fire pit and picks up some of the silt in her fingers, sniffing it before touching it to her tongue. Maybe she's got the right idea. I glance around and there's some branches stacked neatly in a tiny alcove, so I go over and start collecting a few, much to her interest. "Obsessive-compulsive cave people, how do ya like that, B?" She grunts in response. What a shocker. "Well, I'm gonna get some fire going. Maybe now that you're all.. acclimated.. you could go conk a saber-toothed tiger on the head and get some dinner."

She looks at me like I'm insane, which is strangely comforting, since that's a look I've come to know well. I sigh and pile the wood carefully. "Guess those three days in Girl Scouts paid off after all." She doesn't look impressed. "Too bad I skipped the meeting where we learned how to start a fire without matches."

Oh, shit. Matches. I dig in my pocket quickly and pull out the half pack of matches and full pack of cigarettes, sighing with relief. They won't last forever, but hopefully the Scooby braintrust will get us the hell out of here sometime before forever. Buffy watches closely as I strike the match, lighting some of the leaves of one of the branches. It pops and crackles a bit before igniting, and Buffy nods her approval, unsurprised.

I light a cigarette and sit back on what I guess passes for a seat of some kind. Buffy lumbers over to me and sniffs the smoke, making a face. "Hey, that's the same face you make every time I light up. That's comforting in a creepy kind of way." I switch hands, keeping it out of her face, and pat my stomach. "Food? Is there food here?" She raises an eyebrow at me. "Hungry. Faith.. needs to eat."

She just stares at me before reaching across and batting the cigarette out of my hand, knocking it into the fire. "Fuck!" I cry out. God. I have a whole pack, but still. "Was that really neccessary?" I snap at her.

She looks back at me defiantly and points her finger at me. "Fuck!" she parrots, and heads out of the cave quickly. Great. She finally manages a word, and it's to insult me.

Typical.

I pretty much assume she'll come back at some point, maybe with something dead I can eat, so I lean back and light another cigarette. Something pokes me and I lean forward, reaching behind me and finding some kind of crude knife made of stone with a carved bone handle. "Hope you enjoyed nakey time, B. Cause when you get back, you're gonna wear something if I have to knock you out and glue it to you."

Not that I'm not enjoying the view, it's just hard to think with her streaking. I grab one of the animal skins, looks like it might be leopard or jaguar of some kind, and spread it onto the floor. Here's hoping my movie-based education doesn't fail me. I pull off the jacket I'm wearing and swing it over the stone seat and lean over, guessing for the most part at the measurements as I start cutting a medium-sized center hole.

I cut slowly into the skin, sweat beading on my forehead as I start cutting arm holes. It surprises me how easy it is to cut into the hide, and I catch myself thinking that I might make another one if we're stuck here long enough. Had to be a reason cave people wore this stuff, and pretty much anything would be more comfortable than these tight jeans at this point.

I sit back and admire my handiwork as Buffy comes back into the cave, with something dead on her shoulder. Well, part of something dead anyway. It smells pretty fresh as she hands it to me urgently. "Aw man, mom. Leftover prehistoric cow again?" She frowns and looks a little hurt. "Sorry, sorry. I know. I said I was hungry. And, hey, who knew you could get delivery out here?" I smile at her a little and set the--I'm guessing it's something's leg--down on the seat.

"Look, I made something while you were out hunting and gathering. And uh.. you're gonna wear it, even if you don't want to." She looks at me curiously and I pull over the skin, showing it to her. "See? Clothes. Keep you warm." She tilts her head and I sigh, putting it on myself as an example. She seems to get it, so I take it off and hold it out to her.

Buffy sniffs it a little and pulls it close to her chest, then puts her head through the neck hole. "Well, it's a little wide, but I guess I forgot that you having a big head was metaphorical." She sticks her hands through the armholes and smacks her palm against my forehead before turning towards the meat. I hold my head, a little stunned. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were faking this whole thing. That would be so like you, to run around naked and grunt just so I wouldn't get pissed when you hit me."

Good to know when all else fails, I can still be logical.

 

 

A long time later, I'm leaning against the cave wall having a cigarette, much to Buffy's obvious disgust, my stomach slightly swollen from eating more than I've ever eaten in one sitting in my entire life. "Yunno, whatever that was, it was amazing," I tell Buffy, who doesn't look up from whatever she's doing. "Hey, what are you up to over there?" I scoot over a little and look down.

She's scraping a ridged stone over the biggest bone from dinner, sharpening the edge. "Well, I'll be damned. That's gonna be an awesome weapon." She glances at me with approval and goes back to whittling away the excess bone. "Hey, since.. I guess you.. forgot English or whatever, do you think you could grunt or something? I feel kinda stupid sitting here talking to myself. And it's.. yunno. Eerily quiet out here." She ignores me. "Okay, then."

I stand up and stretch, grabbing my jacket. "I'm going for a walk. Not that you care." She waves her hand a little, which is at least an acknowledgement. I slide my jacket on and head out of the cave, touching the stone knife in my pocket. I haven't heard anything out here yet, but obviously there's some live stuff roaming around, since we just ate one of them. Hopefully its friends aren't sitting out here plotting their revenge.

I sigh and start walking, making sure to stay in a straight line and dig my feet into the sand so I can find my way back. I fight the urge to light another cigarette, because I'd rather cut down slowly than end up having to quit cold turkey if I can't find a Seven-Eleven out here.

"God, this sucks," I say, the sound of my voice immediately getting lost on the wind. I walk under a somewhat bare tree, and jump up, trying to slap the lowest branch with my hand. I'm wondering if I can get more height with a running start when I feel something watching me. I freeze and swallow hard, listening. Whatever it is, is large and low to the ground. I'm being stalked by something, and it's not in any kind of a rush, either.

Carefully, I slide my jacket off, trying not to make any sudden movements, and close my eyes, feeling for the animal. I can sense it preparing to attack, and in one motion I throw one arm of the jacket over the branch and grab it in my other hand, using the arms like a pair of still rings from the Olympics to haul myself off the ground just as the large cat flies past where I was standing.

This doesn't throw it for long, though, and it comes back as I hoist myself completely into the tree, accidentally kicking my jacket off the lower branch in my scramble for the highest point. The huge cat grabs the jacket and rips it to shreds in about five seconds.

"That was a really expensive jacket, man! Fred's gonna gut me if I ever get back there!" I yell at the cat, who is not impressed in the least. It leans its front paws on the trunk of the tree, assessing the situation.

"Great idea, Faith. How do you get away from a cat? Climb a fucking tree. Because cats can't do that. Especially not desert cats with fangs longer than your arm who are used to fighting with their food." I keep climbing into the tree, trying to get my legs out of clawing distance. "It's just a cat," I try to reason with myself. "A cat with fangs. So, it's like a really cuddly vampire. That probably outweighs me by at least five hundred pounds."

The cat wiggles its back haunches and I close my eyes, hoping it's at the very least a quick death, if not a painless one. I open them and stare into its eyes, silently challenging it. They're supposed to hate when you do that, I think.

It considers me for a minute before launching itself into the tree. I let out a long, blood-curdling scream as its fangs snap just under my foot. I curl myself tight, trying to stay out of its reach. "Now would be an awesome time for a miracle. Not even a big miracle, just.. one that'll let me not become a pile of meow mix in the next few minutes."

My whole body tenses and a wave of nausea hits me. It feels like I'm falling, which isn't really a bad thing. Better to hit the ground with a broken neck before becoming cat chow, right?

Instinctively, I tuck myself into a ball and prepare to hit bottom.

 

 

I remember to roll into it this time, and land more or less on my feet. In the time it's taken me to hit the ground, I've decided I'm going out fighting, so I whip around and prepare to be mauled. "You wanna go, kitty, we'll go!"

I open my eyes, my arms up and clenched into fists, and stare back at the bewildered faces of everyone in Buffy's livingroom. I swallow hard and look around. "Where's B?" My voice sounds hoarse even to my own ears, and Dawn lowers the book in front of her, staring past me.

There's Buffy, crouched in the corner glaring, her teeth bared defensively.

Andrew chooses this moment to walk in from the kitchen looking desperate. "Who ate the last Hot Pocket? 'Cause.. my name was on it. And it's just common courtesy to.." he trails off and glances back and forth between Buffy and the rest of us. "You know, I respect the art form of cosplay as much as anyone else who's ever dreamed night and day of going to Comic-Con, but Land of the Lost is kind of an obscure reference."

I look at him disbelievingly and he shrinks back a little. "I'll just have Bagel Bites instead, it's cool." He disappears back into the kitchen and I look back at Buffy, who looks less defensive and more overwhelmed, and slowly move towards her. She's fine with it until Xander makes a move towards her as well. Then she freaks and knocks over an end table on her way out the door.

"Shit," I mutter. "You guys, stay!" I don't even wait for a response, instead jumping over Kennedy's prone body on the floor to run after Buffy.

I come to a stop in the backyard, but she's nowhere to be found. I can't even see where she might have gone, and I sink onto the porch steps, putting my head in my hands. Not good, not good at all.

Xander sits down next to me. "Faith.. we'll find her. Willow's in there now, setting up a locator spell." I nod a little, feeling suddenly both exhausted and defeated. "What the hell happened to you guys? Why is Buffy suddenly at one with her inner Wilma?"

"I don't know," I say softly. "I thought.. maybe it would wear off if we got back or something. I--I don't know what happened. We were in this desert.. with these weird guys in thunder need of some fashion advice. They had these sticks.. they knocked me out. And.. and when I woke up, she was like this. And they said some weird shit, too."

He furrows his brows, studying me. "Like what?"

I shrug. "Something about.. Yoko being a lezzie?"

His face pales a little. "Uko mlezi?"

I look at him quickly. "How the hell did you know that?"

"It's in the book," he answers, looking troubled. "Dawn was trying to translate it.. she said it was some kind of prophecy."

"The guardian," comes a soft voice from behind us. I turn around quickly and Dawn is standing there, looking worried and tired.

"What?"

"Uko mlezi. It means 'The Guardian'. It's.." she lifts up a piece of notebook paper and reads over it. "Something about the Slayer. The--the first Slayer. She um.. had a Guardian? I think it's supposed to mean Watcher."

I swallow hard, holding my hand out. "Can I see that, Dawnie?" She silently passes it to me and sits down on the porch, pulling her knees to her chest. "Chained to the earth? Filled her with dark? What is this?"

"That's what I was reading, when the portal opened. It's how the first Slayer was made. They um.. they chained her down and forced a demon into her. It's what.. what gives the Slayer her power."

Chained to the earth. Demon. I lift my head, looking at her quickly and grabbing my cigarettes out of my pocket. "I was chained. They.. they knocked me out, and when I woke up, I was chained to the wall of this cave."

Xander studies me for a minute. "You're the Watcher."

I choke on the cigarette I'm trying to light and spend a few seconds coughing and spitting before looking up at him. "What are you, on crack? I'm a Slayer, not a Watcher."

"I think he's right, Faith," Dawn pipes up nervously. "I mean.. it makes sense. The Shadowmen--those guys you met--they couldn't come back with you. They had to know it. And--and the Slayer needs someone to watch over her, according to the lore. So.. so that would be you."

"They put demon in her," I whisper, mostly pointing it out to myself. "They.. they violated her, and they turned her into a monster. And I'm supposed to do what? Watch her?"

"Help her. She's.. she's got to be so scared. She doesn't even know what's happened to her," Xander says softly. "The first Slayer.. Senaya.. she said she had no speech. They did that, they took that away from her. Turned her into a mindless killer."

"Buffy's not mindless!" I snap, surprising myself. "She's just.. I don't know what she is. And I don't really care. She's out there alone in a fucking rug, and I'm gonna go find her." I stand up and throw my cigarette aside. "And you better have a way to turn her back when I find her or she won't be the only one with brain damage." Someone clears their throat behind me and I whirl around to face Willow. "Where is she?"

Willow hands me a ragged piece of paper with a pinhole off to the side. "It's a map. That spot there, that's where she is. Or.. was, five minutes ago. That's just north of Crawford Street, the place where Angel had that mansion a few years ago?"

I nod and jam the map in my pocket. "Figure out how to bring her back."

Without even waiting for a response, I take off at a run.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time I get to the pinhole on the map, I'm ready to give up and lay down for a nap somewhere. The only thing keeping me going is the idea that Buffy's out here somewhere, alone and probably freaked out. Or freaking other people out. Or both.

The thing that's bugging me, aside of that, is that these Shadowdudes didn't see fit to clue me into their little plan. I didn't even want to go to the damn desert and get conked in the head or chased up a tree by the cat from hell. None of this was my idea, and somehow I get stuck babysitting for the one whose idea it was.

I sigh and start walking slowly. The spot marked on the map is apparently a residential street, and since I don't hear any screaming, somehow I doubt she's wandering around someone's living room.

"Oh, duh," I mutter to myself as I reach the end of the street and find myself faced with a graveyard. You wanna find a Slayer, start looking at home. I start calling her name and making my way slowly between the rows of headstones.

The sound of a scuffle comes from behind a mausoleum, and I make my way cautiously over, worried it might be a demon. I'm relieved to see it's Buffy, and then I start feeling pretty nauseous when I realize she's leaning over a dead squirrel.

"Buffy," I say tentatively, not wanting to scare her. She turns quickly and stares at me. "Hey, yunno.. we have food at home. You don't.. you don't have to hunt here." She tilts her head quizzically, then glances back at the squirrel. "No, come on."

I wave my hand a little, trying to coax her to come with me, and she seems to debate for a minute before lumbering towards me. Instinctively, I put my hand out, and surprisingly, she takes it. Good, less chance of her running off if I've got a grip on her.

"So, uh.." What the hell do you say to someone who can't--or doesn't want to--talk back? "The gang's working on figuring out how to get you back to.. you. I mean, not that you're not you. But the you that doesn't look at a dead squirrel and think 'lunch'.. You know what I mean?"

She looks up at me. "Fuck?" she suggests helpfully.

"No. Lunch. What's with your obsession with the F-bomb?"

She snorts and looks back at the ground as we walk, but comes to a dead stop when we approach the exit of the graveyard. She suddenly looks terrified and moves behind me. I'm trying to figure out why she's wigging, when it hits me.

If she's gone prehistoric, she probably hasn't got a fucking clue what a car is. Or anything else in this world, for that matter. Except fuck, apparently.

I glance back at her cowering figure as she claws at my jeans, trying to hide. "We're so screwed, B."

"Fuck?" she whispers, wide eyed.  
"Yeah, B." I back up with her slowly. She relaxes when we've moved a few yards from the gate, and sits down under a tree, playing in the dirt with her fingernails. "Totally and completely, utterly fuck."

 

 

I pace back and forth in front of the payphone for awhile, watching Buffy pick bugs out of the dirt and study them closely. Finally, I pick up the phone and collect-call her house.

"Hello?"

"Good. You're just the person I wanted to talk to. We're at Shady Hill. I need you to bring a couple things, though." I rattle off the items I need quickly and hang up without waiting for a response.

Buffy looks up at me and cocks her head to the side, holding out a worm for me. I sigh and sit next to her, taking it. "Thanks." She looks confused and frowns, glancing back at the street.

"Hey.." she looks back at me and I reach out to touch her shoulder lightly. "It's cool, B. I promise. No more street. We'll just stay here for awhile, yunno?"

She sighs and curls up against my side, resting her head on my shoulder. I shift a little and rest my head against hers. I can't remember being this exhausted in my life, ever. I can't remember the last time I slept, and I fight as hard as I can not to sleep, but my eyes won't stay open on their own any longer.

 

"Faith.." a soft whisper comes. "Don't hit me or anything, but.. you gotta wake up."

I let out a grunt and shift a little. Go away, go away. I'm tired, and I'm very comfortable right now, curled up with.. "Shit! Buffy?" My eyes fly open, and she's sitting next to me, staring up, bewildered. I look up as well.

"Thank god, Xander." I stand up and brush my pants off. "Did you bring that stuff?"

He nods, studying Buffy, who doesn't look pleased. "Yeah. Got your really random groceries, MacGuyver."

"Who?"

"..never mind. What are we doing?"

I glance at Buffy, whose brows are furrowed. "We're getting her home." I kneel down and spread out the wool blanket near Buffy and pat it a little. She raises an eyebrow at me in yet another one of her classic expressions, but obediently crawls onto the blanket, laying down and looking up at me.

"I don't get it."

I pop open the bottle and pour some of it into the cup. "She's s-c-a-r-e-d of the c-a-r-s." I hold the cup of Benedryl out to her and the trust in her eyes when she sips it kind of freaks me out. Not used to seeing that from anybody, much less her.

She lays back down and curls onto her side, and Xander sits down as well, a few feet away. "Here's another question for you.. why me?"

I knit my brows and glance back at him. "What?"

"Um.. you said on the phone. I was just the person you wanted to talk to. Why?"

I look down and watch Buffy's face starting to relax, shrugging a little. "You'd die for her." I look at him again. "So would I." Xander studies me for a minute, then nods. "You tell anyone that, and I'll gut you like a fish."

"I won't." His voice is soft and serious. "You think that's why they picked you?"

"What?"

He shrugs. "To be the Guardian. Because you'd die for her."

"No. I think it's cause I was there."

"Yeah. You were." He picks up a stick and starts peeling the bark off it. "And why's that again?"

"Cause I went in after.." I trail off. He's being insightful, and it's kind of annoying. "When did you get so damn logical, anyway?"

"Somewhere between going for jelly donuts and saving the world. You love her."

I snort and scoot back a little, away from her. "Who said love? I said I'd die for her. Nobody said anything about love."

He just smiles and goes back to playing with the stick. "Okay."

"I don't."

"Okay."

I groan with frustration and glance over at Buffy. "She's out cold. Let's roll." I stand up and carefully wrap the blanket around her. "Check it out. Buffy burrito."

He grins and tosses the stick aside, standing up. "You didn't mean actual rolling, did you? 'Cause burritos never stay together."

"I had something a little different in mind. Here." I shove the bottle of Benedryl at him. He takes it and watches as I slide my arms under Buffy's body and lift her up, cradling her to my chest. She curls up against me and nestles her head against my shoulder.

"I can do that," Xander offers quickly. "You're all beat up and stuff."

"Thanks, but.. I'm a Slayer. And she weighs about five pounds soaking wet. It's fine." I move forward slowly, double checking my grip on her.

"You looove her.." comes the singsong voice from behind me. I pause and lift my leg backwards, kicking him in the shin. "Ouch."

"See?"

"Doesn't change the truth," he mumbles. "Sissykicker."

I start walking again, checking every once in awhile to make sure the blanket is pulled over her face so she doesn't see anything but me if she wakes up.

 

 

It's a long walk home carrying Buffy. She might be a lightweight, but dead weight is dead weight and my arms are going numb. I'm huffing and puffing pretty loud by the time we hit main street and Xander helps me lay her down on a bench so I can rest for a minute. Luckily the area's pretty empty. Most people seem to be taking the back roads on their way out of town. I slump onto the stoop and light a cigarette, and he sits next to me, pulling a bag of Skittles from his pocket and popping a few in his mouth. I look at him, amused.

He shrugs. "Have food, will travel." I put my hand out and he pours some in, and suddenly I realize that I haven't eaten since whatever that thing Buffy killed in the desert was.

"What are we gonna do?" I say softly, picking out the orange ones and giving the rest back to him. "I didn't think we were gonna win before Buffy went all Clan of the Cave Bear. But with her out of comission, I don't think we even stand a chance."

Xander sighs heavily and starts handing me more orange Skittles. "I don't know. The First has Bringers, and Turok-Han, and.. evil, on its side. We have.."

"A bunch of scared little girls, a retired Watcher, a Wicca School dropout, and a cranky ex-con who, by the way, hasn't showered in two days."

He smiles and pats my back a little. "I noticed the last part."

I whack him in the arm and draw my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them and closing my eyes. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

"You could say that." His voice is a little shaky and I open my eyes quickly to see a Turok-Han headed our way. I scramble to my feet and back up quickly, shaking Buffy's shoulder.

"Buffy.. B, come on. Get up. We gotta go." But she's totally out. "Shit. Xander, get her home!"

I leave her sleeping on the bench. I hope I can provide enough of a distraction for Xander to get her home before the Turok-Han gets tired of beating up my corpse. I take a running start and fly at it feet-first, my heel damn near bouncing of its chest before I hit the ground on my back.

The thing growls at me and grabs me by the throat, squeezing. Well, that was a lot less successful than I was hoping it would be. My vision gets a little blurry and starts to darken around the edges as its claws dig into my neck. I kick my feet uselessly, tearing at its hands with my nails, but it doesn't even seem to notice. It pulls me closer, still squeezing my throat, and sinks its teeth into my neck.

I start crying and all I can think is please, god.. please.. don't let it make me one of them. I'd rather be dead than undead. Anything but that. I guess it's true what they say, there are no atheists in fox holes. Cause right now I'm praying to any god that'll listen to just let me die in peace, and not be turned.

The dark closes in, and I give up. I hear Xander screaming my name from far away, and I close my eyes, letting go, my feet stilling as I relax and let myself float away.

Suddenly, I'm released, and I hit the ground hard enough to rattle my jaw. Instinctively I try to pull myself up to see what happened, but I only manage to roll onto my side with a groan of pain. I open my eyes, and through my blurred vision I see hands wrap around my chest and pull me further away from the street where the Turok-Han is facing off with..

"Buffy!" I gasp weakly, my voice sounding strange and gritty even to my own ears.

Xander pulls me onto my feet and puts his arm under my arms to hold me up. "Faith, look."

I look closer, my vision clearing a little, and can't believe what I'm seeing. Buffy's tearing into the Turok-Han like it's a turkey and she's armed with and electric carving knife. She rakes her nails across its face, and it howls in pain. It grabs her by the throat, but she quickly flips out of its grasp and jumps at it again. They fall to the ground, rolling across the pavement and growling at each other as Xander and I watch in shock. Buffy rolls the thing onto its back and wraps her hands under its chin, grabbing its head and twisting it clean off.

She lands directly on the street as it dusts beneath her and quickly pulls herself to her feet.

"Whoah," Xander whispers. I try to nod, but my head swims with the effort. The lack of oxygen and blood loss, combined with pure exhaustion, finally gets to me. I lean into Xander, letting him hold me as I pass out.

 

 

When I open my eyes, I'm laying in Buffy's bed. Kennedy is sitting in a nearby armchair reading a comic book, but Buffy's nowhere in sight. I open my mouth, but all that comes out is a rasping sound. She looks up immediately. "Well, look who's back among the living." She tosses the book aside and comes over, sitting on the edge of the bed and grabbing a cup of water. She bends the straw a little and I suck it in greedily, closing my eyes for a minute. It feels like ice cubes sliding down my throat. "Your neck and your throat are probably gonna hurt for a bit. You really got fucked up."

I open my eyes and struggle to sit up a little. "Buffy," I rasp.

"She's fine," Kennedy says quickly, pushing me back onto the bed. "She's sleeping it off in Dawn's room while everyone else tries to figure out what the hell happened."

"The demon," I mumble, my voice still incredibly hoarse. "The demon they put in her, gave her more strength. She's like.. super-Slayer."

Kennedy frowns. "The strength part I get. What's with the cave-girl act, though?"

I shrug a little and look up as Dawn comes in. "When they put the demon in the first Slayer, she became less than human. The Shadowmen, they created a monster. She had no thoughts but to hunt and kill." She sits on the opposite side of the bed from Kennedy, crossing her legs Indian-style. "She could barely even communicate any more, and she became so destructive that the village that created her in the first place cast her out. They were afraid."

"Senaya," Kennedy offers. "That was her name, right?"

Dawn nods. "Before she was chosen, anyway."

"Even with her crazy strength," I force myself to sit up again, knocking Kennedy's hand out of the way. "She can't fight them all. What are we supposed to do, ask the Turok-Han politely to form an orderly queue, and we'll slay them just as soon as we can?"

Downstairs, the front door bangs closed and a voice rings out. "Where the bloody hell is everyone? I've got news!"

I roll my eyes and Kennedy smirks as Dawn jumps off the bed and heads out. "I take it you're not crazy about him?"

"If by 'crazy about' you mean 'totally annoyed by', then yeah," I croak, resting against the headboard. "Hey, Ken. Do me a favor."

"Does it involve a sharp wooden object and a bleached blonde vampire making his way onto the end of it?"

I manage a smirk. "No. Just check on Buffy real quick? I know she's probably fine, but.. she gets freaked out real easy, yunno?"

"Sure." Kennedy slides off the bed. "I'll find out what Vampire Barbie's talking about, too."

"Thanks."

She's barely been gone a minute when half the people in the house burst into the room, all talking over each other excitedly.

"Yo!" I yell out, and they all go relatively quiet. "Do you think you could all try to scream at me one at a time?"

"I found something at the mission," Spike offers. I try to focus more on the information he's giving me and less on the fact that his face looks like a carved out turkey carcass with wax paper stretched over it.

"The mission?"

"Yeah," he says impatiently. "Rupert thought he found a connection between the First and an old mission south of here and sent me to check it out. By the way," he turns to Giles and holds out a receipt. "I'm getting comped for the petrol, yeah?"

Giles closes his eyes. "Just tell her what you found, Spike."

"Right then," he looks back at me. "The place was fairly well thrashed, but there was a survivor. Filled me in a bit. There's a preacher, calls himself Caleb, working for the First. He about tore the place apart looking for this." He holds out a photo and I take it. It's a wall with some kind of weird carvings on it.

"They look like hieroglyphics."

"Close enough," he agrees.

I hand him back the photo. "What do they mean?"

"It is not for thee, it is for she alone to wield. Best I can tell, it's describing some kind of weapon. Slayer thing, you know?"

"Tell her what we saw," comes a whisper from the back. One of the potentials--I think it's Vi--raises her hand.

"This isn't school," I point out, grabbing the glass of water off the nightstand. "If you got something to say, speak up."

Vi shuffles forward slowly, with Amanda nudging her lightly from behind. "We uh--we were out doing recon, and we saw one of those guys. The ones with the big x's where their eyes should be."

"Bringers," Amanda pipes up.

"Yeah," Vi glances at her. "A Bringer. So we followed it, to see where it went."

"They've got a headquarters, the old vineyard at the edge of town," Amanda takes over the story, and Vi looks relieved as she steps back. "There were a whole bunch of them milling around, going in and out."

"They had guards," comes another voice. The crowd parts a little and Caridad blushes a little. "Three on each door. We.. we think they're protecting something."

"The weapon," I say, sliding out of the bed. "Okay, here's the deal. Buffy's out of the game for now, which means I'm in charge. Will, you and Xander are in charge of Buffy. Keep dosing her with the Benedryl so she doesn't freak, and try not to let her realize I'm not there. Giles and Dawn, you guys keep up the studying. See if you can find anything else about this Caleb guy."

They nod agreeably. I glance over the girls and point to them one by one. "Kennedy, Caridad, Rona, Molly, and Spike. You guys are coming with me." Spike looks pleased and Molly looks terrified.

"Where?" Caridad asks.

"The vineyard. If they've got a weapon hidden there, we're gonna take it away from them."

"That's a suicide mission," Molly cries out. "They'll tear us to pieces in a heartbeat. You can't bloody well expect us to walk into the lair of the people who are trying to kill us!"

"Fine," I nod. "Amanda, you game?" She nods, setting her jaw. "Okay. Anybody else got objections?" Silence. "Good. Let's move out."


	4. Chapter 4

I crouch low in the dirt, scoping out the front entrance. Spike waves a little from the side of the building to get my attention and points at the door, holding up two fingers. The less Bringers we have to fight at a time, the better. I nod, and glance back at my team.

"Kennedy and Rona--you guys back up Spike's team." They nod, creeping along the dirt closer to their target.

If things go according to plan, the Bringers will rush to defend the attack, giving Amanda and I enough time to find whatever we're looking for. Spike and the other girls will keep them busy as long as possible, hopefully without casualties.

Spike and I make some complicated signals back and forth, mostly for show, so the girls think we have the first clue what we're doing. Maybe he's not that bad after all.

Whatever. I can barely blink before they're up and running, taking the Bringers by surprise. Amanda instinctively begins to stand, but I push down on her arm. "Wait."

She chews on her thumbnail a little, whispering. "I feel shaky and weird.. Like I want to.. I don't know."

"Jump into the fray and start kicking some ass?"

She thinks about it, then nods. "Basically."

"Welcome to Slayerhood. But not tonight. Let them take care of the drones. We're going straight into the hive."

Amanda stares at the girls fighting as the other Bringers hear the commotion and abandon their posts. "You know.. we learned in Bio that the queen bee's stinger isn't barbed, like regular bees. So it doesn't tear off."

"So?" I ask distractedly, getting ready to make my move.

"So she can just sting you over and over again without dying."

"It's a good thing I hate metaphors, or I'd be worried right now." I stand up and take off into the now-abandoned front door, with Amanda hot on my heels.

As she runs behind me through the winery, she calls out, "That was an analogy, not a metaphor!"

"Now, see? This is exactly why I'm against educating women." I skid to a stop in front of a tall, foreboding man wearing a clerical collar. Amanda crashes into me and looks at him in fear. "Give woman a fish, and she eats for a day. Teach her to think," he shrugs, smiling a little. "She starts wanting more fish than she's truly entitled to."

"Caleb," Amanda whispers so helpfully behind me.

"Thanks. I got that, actually."

He never breaks eye contact. "Now I believe you girls have come here to take what's not rightfully yours. The Lord, in all His infinite wisdom, laid some rules down long ago. One of them referring to not stealing. Yet here you be, seeking to take what don't belong to you, just like Eve in the garden."

"I never was much for Genesis," I retort. "Too many rules."

Caleb laughs like we're not standing in a life or death face-off, and it sends chills down my spine. "I took you for a Matthew fan, myself. 'Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself..' Seems to fit, being as you're the real Slayer's very own Judas, aren't you? Trying to make up for what's already done."

"What can I say? I'm an optimist." Amanda nudges my arm and glances behind him, where there's a hole torn in the concrete floor. He's standing directly in front of it, as if to shield it from our view. "What are you keeping in there, your altar boys?"

He frowns. "You hold your tongue when you speak to your betters, or I'll cut it out."

I open my mouth to respond, but I'm cut off when the melee from outside suddenly crashes through the side door, a tangle of girls and Spike, and two remaining Bringers exploding into the room. Caleb moves toward the fray and I run as fast as I can, jumping into the hole and hoping like hell that the bottom isn't too far away.

I hit the floor on my feet and look around quickly. About ten Bringers are working with tools, chopping away at a stone block into which a huge axe is wedged.

"Bingo," I breathe.

The Bringers look up, their eyeless faces seeming even eerier than before, and move towards me almost as one. "You guys wouldn't wanna attack me one at a time, would you?" I launch a kick at one of their heads as they rush me. "Didn't think so!"

Several weights behind me hit the ground and I keep my fingers crossed that it's the girls, and not more Bringers.

Everything becomes a blur of fists and weapons, and I get into the zone, fighting wildly. Hitting everything that moves and making my way slowly towards the axe. I try to ignore a few shrieks of pain behind me and focus on getting it so we can get out of here.

I grab the handle of the axe and in one motion lift it effortlessly out of the stone, clutch it tight, and swing it at the Bringers. I decapitate three of them without even trying before going after the others.

I finish them off and stand there, breathing heavily and glancing around. "Let's go!" I call up through the hole, but no response comes. Amanda, Kennedy, and Vi are bruised and bleeding a few feet away.

"What about the others?" Vi asks. She's nursing her left arm, which is twisted at such an incredibly angle that I can't even believe it's still attatched.

I point the axe at Kennedy and Amanda. "Boost me up. Hurry." They rush over and brace their hands against their knees, allowing me to step up, and then boost me back through the hole.

I scramble into the storage room and skid to a stop. Spike's laying unconscious in a huge puddle of what I hope is red wine. Caridad's mangled corpse is in the corner, and I look up in anger as Caleb tosses Rona's body aside.

I grip the handle tighter and move towards him. "I can't even believe how much I'm gonna kill you."

"'And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and showing the glad tidings of the kingdom..' And they will know the glory, every one of them. You can kill me," he pauses, laughing in that creepy way. "Well, you can try. But there are more, always will be. You can't defeat it. You can't even concieve of its power, little girl."

I move fast, swinging the axe and slicing his head clean off with an angry yell. I stand there for a few moments afterwards, breathing heavily and fighting back tears of guilt and exhaustion.

There's a hand on my shoulder, and I glance up to see Spike, his face bruised and cut. "You got what we came here for."

"Yeah," I respond softly, glancing at the bodies on the floor, and the scared girls climbing out of the floor in varying states of injury. "But at what cost?"

"Slayer does what a Slayer's gotta do. What no one else can," he says simply, reaching over to help Vi out.

I shoulder the axe and start out the door, the girls staggering behind me and Spike bringing up the rear. As soon as we're a few yards away, he stops and lights a cigarette. He flips his Zippo again and tosses it in the door of the vineyard, where it ignites the spilled wine immediately.

Silently, each lost in our own thoughts, we start home.

 

 

I shower quickly, standing under the hot water and scraping my nails over my skin until I feel slightly less dirty. If this is the kind of shit Buffy goes through all the time, making impossible choices that lead to people getting killed..

Well, I suddenly find myself a lot less jealous of her than I used to be.

I sigh heavily and turn off the shower, grabbing a towel and drying myself off. I bask in the quiet of the bathroom for a minute until I hear a commotion in the hallway that sounds an awful lot like a pissed-off Buffy.

I kick it into high gear, pulling on a clean change of clothes and bursting out of the bathroom into the hall, where Willow's trying to cajole Buffy into taking another dose. Buffy, however, is not even a little interested, and looks pretty pissed about it.

"Hey," I call out quietly. Buffy looks up and wrinkles her nose, slapping the bottle out of Willow's hand and hightailing it into her bedroom. I hold up my hand to stop Willow from following. "It's okay. I got it."

She frowns, getting that parental look on her face. "You need to get some sleep, Faith."

I shrug. "I'm a machine. I'll be fine."

"Even machines need to recharge! Or have its tank filled.. or something," she trails off as I go into Buffy's room.

"Find out about the Scythe!" I call to her, closing the door and turning to face Buffy, who's sitting on the floor next to the bed. "I'm getting pretty good at this being the boss thing."

I sit down on the bed, which I already know is a mistake. As soon as my ass hits the mattress, I feel like sinking into it and passing out completely. Buffy watches me quietly as I weave a little.

"I'm real sorry about the medicine, B." Maybe talking will keep me awake. "I just had some stuff to get done, yunno? And I didn't want you to be scared or hurt yourself or something. On the upside, you'll probably never sneeze again."

She tilts her head and taps my knee. "What?" She sighs with frustration and stands up, putting her hand on my shoulder and pushing me back onto the bed. "I'm gonna fall asleep, B.."

She growls a little and holds my chest against the bed until I stop resisting. "Gotta keep an eye on you, though. How do I know you're gonna stay here and not get into trouble?"

Buffy crawls onto the bed next to me and curls into a ball at my side, tucking her hands under her face and looking at me questioningly. I let out a sigh, giving in. "'Kay.. maybe just for a minute."

She shifts suddenly, resting her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest protectively. This is definitely new, but it feels really nice. "I've never cuddled before, you know. Hope you're not gonna kick my ass for this later."

She watches me as I wrap my arm around her shoulders, placing my hand on her back. She's warm, and I relax a little under her. If this is what cuddling is, I've been missing out. I can feel her heartbeat very faintly, and the steady rhythm is comforting.

Buffy moves her hand down a little, resting her palm on my breast. I swallow hard, trying to ignore it, because it's totally innocent. But it's been a really long time since anybody's touched me, and it doesn't feel totally innocent.

I close my eyes, trying to relax again, when she starts moving her hand. Not a lot, but enough to get my mind focused on things that have nothing to with sleeping. "B," I whisper. "Please."

She lifts her head, inspecting my face, and traces her fingertips over my breast. I let out a soft moan, wanting to give in so bad it hurts. I let her touch me for a minute longer, trying to ignore the fact that she's staring at me like I'm a science project, then cup my hand over hers, stilling it.

She frowns, tilting her head. "It's not that I don't want it." She furrows her brows and moves her hand a little, rubbing her thumb over my nipple, and I arch my back a little. "Y-you don't even know how much I want it. I just.." I grip her hand harder, pulling it away reluctantly. "You're not you right now. And that's not how I want it."

I gently release her hand and she settles down again, sighing and closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I don't even know if she really knows what she was doing, and I'll probably kick myself for stopping her later. Especially when we get her back to being herself, and I realize that this was the only shot I had with her. Maybe I'll change my mind then and decide it would have been worth it just to feel her touching me.

She lets out a little grunt and wraps her arm over my torso, and I sigh, closing my eyes.

Sleep comes quickly.

What could only be at most a few hours later, I'm startled out of my sleep by a banging on the door. I quickly disentangle myself from Buffy, who curls up again, never waking up. I pull it open and Dawn's standing there wide-eyed.

"We figured it out."

 

"And you really think that'll work?" I ask Willow, staring at her hard.

She nods. "If I can work the mojo, that is. And.. it's a-a lot of mojo."

"You can do it," Kennedy says firmly.

I glance up from the papers at Giles. "Giles? What are you thinking?"

He takes his glasses off and rubs his temple. "In the interest of full disclosure, I think it's bloody brilliant."

I glance around at everyone in the room. The Potentials all have hope on their faces, a completely unfamiliar sight these days. Willow looks nervous but determined, Spike's just nodding with approval, and Andrew has a dreamy look on his face.

"It's the most touching thing I've ever heard," he croons. "Creating a whole new race of empowered females. Little girls growing up knowing they have a purpose and a place in the world, knowing they're a part of something greater than themselves."

I actually smile. He's corny, but he's right. This is more than just changing Buffy back, or winning an impossible fight. This is changing the world. Hopefully, for the better.

"Okay," I nod. "We're doing it. Tomorrow, we go to the school and open the seal. Kennedy, you're with me, Buffy, and Willow in the office. If everything goes right, you'll need to make sure Willow's okay."

Spike raises a finger in the air. "Just one question. Got a bunch of school girls and a ragtag group of would-be heroes heading into hell itself. Shouldn't there be at least one qualified Slayer leading the pack?"

Willow shakes her head. "I need Buffy for the spell. I'll have to draw on the extra energy she's got and spread it around to the others using the axe as a catalyst. I can't do that if Faith's not with her."

"Why's that?"

"She's the Guardian. She's been charged with protecting Buffy. If I try to siphon the essence the Shadowmen imbued her with, without the Guardian present, it'll be seen as an attack. It won't work, and there could be some really bad consequences. Like Buffy going insane and killing us all."

"Right," Spike looks sufficiently nervous. "Don't want that."

"Definitely not," Willow agrees.

"Everyone get some sleep tonight. You're gonna need it. We leave at dawn."

 

 

"I know why they chose you."

I open one eye from the amazingly comfortable bed I've settled into at the Hyperion, intending to sleep for about a week now that the First is squashed. Buffy's standing in the doorway, looking cleaner that she's been in a week, and more relaxed than I've ever seen her. "What?"

"The Shadowmen. I know why they chose you to be the Guardian." She crosses her arms, nudging the door shut with her foot.

"Yeah? Why's that?" I prop myself up a little on the pillow, not quite sitting up.

Her eyes scan over me slowly, as though she's trying to figure something out. "You'd die for me," she says softly, moving her gaze to my eyes. Daring me to lie.

I shrug instead. "So?"

"So, nothing," she says, her voice a little louder. She's starting to look pissed.

I let out a groan. "B, if you want to fight.. that's fine. But can we do it after I get some sleep? I'm so exhausted I might actually cry right now. So can we just talk about it later?"

"No," she says simply, grabbing an armchair and dragging it over. She sits in it, facing me, and leans forward. "I want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why, suddenly, after years of trying to kill me, you would give your life for me."

That tears it. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, staring her down. "I have never tried to kill you! Never!"

"Bullshit," she spits.

"It's not," I snap defensively. "I never did. I did a lot of shitty things to you, but I never, ever tried to kill you. I shot Angel, yeah. I slept with Riley, and I held a knife to Red's throat. But I never tried to kill you."

"You took my body and handed me over to the cops," she cries shrilly. "And by extension, the council. Who would have killed me if I hadn't gotten away!"

I lower my voice, because she's not wrong. "I didn't know it would go down that way. I really didn't. I never would have.." I shake my head, looking away. "I wouldn't have let them cart you away if I knew they were going to kill you."

Buffy sits quietly for a minute, looking at me. "I wouldn't have either. I hope you know that. I wanted to help you. Not kill you."

I nod, looking down at my lap. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She shifts a little, and looks like she's debating with herself. "I remember everything that happened. I-I thought you should know that."

I swallow hard, my gulp almost audible. "Everything, huh?"

"Yeah," she says softly. "You.. did a lot for me. I'm grateful."

I shrug a little, blushing. "It's.. nothing. It was my job, you know?"

"It wasn't a job and we both know it. Don't play stupid, Faith."

"Why not? I'm good at it." I offer her a grin.

"God," she cries, tossing her hands in the air as she stands up and moves towards the door. "Why did I think you could have a real conversation? Can't you be serious and honest at the same time, even for just a few minutes?"

"I'm sorry," I say quickly, also standing. "I mean it. I'm just really tired and punchy. Come back. Please?"

She sighs heavily and comes back over, sitting on the bed. I sit again as well and turn a little so we're facing each other.

"Look.. no matter what's happened in the past between us, at the end of the day.. I care about you. All that shit I pulled.. it wasn't because I hated you or something. I was so.. I don't know. Scared, and angry. Not at you, just.. at the world in general. You just ended up getting the brunt of it.

"They chose me to be the Guardian because they knew.. I don't know how, but they did.. that I'd die before I let someone hurt you. And--and about what happened, it's really not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. You could've.. taken advantage of me."

I let out a sigh and stare down at my lap, picking at my cuticles nervously. "The thought crossed my mind, I won't lie. But I couldn't. It wouldn't have been you, anyway. You weren't all there. You couldn't have possibly understood what it meant to me, yunno?"

"Hey, Faith?"

"I hope.. all this doesn't make things weird between us. Any weirder than they were before, anyway."

"Faith."

"I'm not gonna be hitting on you or something, just cause I feel the way I do about you. I mean, a person can't help if they love someone, even if they don't want to. Or if the person doesn't want them to."

"Faith!"

"What?" I look up at her, biting my bottom lip nervously.

"I love you, too." She stares back at me expectantly. I open and close my mouth a few times, not really knowing what to do with that information.

"Kiss me, you idiot." I stare at her dumbly, and she leans closer, whispering. "Now would be nice."

I lick my lips quickly and lean in as well, kissing her softly. She sighs and wraps her arm loosely around my neck, and I rest my hands on her sides. We kiss slowly, not deepening it, and it's even better than it was every time I pictured it in my head.

She breaks it gently, resting her forehead against mine. "Okay?" she whispers. I nod quickly, and so does she. "Okay. Good." She pauses. "Can we promise to try not to hurt each other so much this time around?"

"I promise."

"Me, too." And with that she moves, swinging one leg over both of mine and sitting on my lap.

I tilt my head up, kissing her again, deeper this time, and slide my tongue into her mouth. She moans softly, pushing me back on the bed, and stretches her body out along mine.

After a minute, she breaks the kiss again, smiling at me.

I smile back, my lips already kiss-swollen. "What are you grinning about?"

She shrugs. "You."

I laugh lightly, rubbing her side lazily. "You feel even better than I imagined."

"You, too," she whispers, cupping her hand over my breast.

I shiver beneath her, sliding my hands over her body. "That feels better, too.. It's official.. I like real Buffy a lot more than cave Buffy.."

Buffy smirks and leans over, nipping my earlobe playfully before whispering. "Fuck?"

I laugh again and grab her hips, flipping her over. "Definitely."

And we did.

The End.


End file.
